As I am washing my *dishes in the kitchen at work I look out the window and see a young woman walking down the street. She's dressed very stylish as if she was walking down the Champs Élysées. At first I wondered if she had children. Then I thought about Paris. Wouldn't it be great to just up and leave. I let my mind go there. To that place where we would be living a child free life. My heart aches just thinking about it at first but after realizing what we could do, it doesn't seem all that bad. We're not there yet but one can't help but think of the what if.
I know I've just started this journey but I always like to have something to look forward to. Something to be happy about after getting that BFN. It softens the blow. I would tell myself, it's ok at least now you can enjoy the sushi dinner coming up. As much as I hate to say this, the benefits of living child free will have to be my something to look forward to if this journey ends without a baby. Until then, bring on the hot flashes!
* my dear husband packed a little hot lunch for me today so I wanted to wash the containers
Paris. That's a beautiful image.
ReplyDeleteYou've brought up a very important point about how important it is to look for the sunny side of life during this process. It's so easy to become bitter (something I'm infinitely guilty of) but bitterness doesn't help anything. Thanks for the reminder that there are things to look forward to every day.
I've been thinking about this lately too. TTC can be financially daunting, but add that to already overwhelming bills and you've got the makings of big-time stress. One of our "bills" is child-support for my stepkids. We're about 3 years away from being free from that expense. It's something nice to look forward to, but then I start thinking about the cost of TTC and raising a child...it's bitter-sweet. If our journey should take us to a child-free lifestyle, I can see the upside now.
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to forget all the positive "what ifs" that come with child-free living. We've been thinking about those a lot too and the possibilities are endless. It keeps me going through every BFN. And your hubby is so sweet to pack your lunch. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweetie that he packed your lunch! I usually end up packing my hubby's because he get's up so early. Hang in there girl, hoping for good things for you soon!!
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