I don't know if anyone reads this blog anymore but for some reason I feel the need to be here. I am currently lost and may possibly be in one of my darkest moments. I also feel that I should share my story because as much as I would hate to know that someone out there may be going through the same thing, some one might be and I want them to know that they are not alone.
So where do I start? Let's start where we left off. After my second D&C, my HCG numbers finally fell to 0 and the 6 month countdown began. The weekly blood test became monthly and in August we started the next stage of treatment, injectable IUIs. Somewhere in between these cycles, I had 2 hysteroscopys to remove scar tissue in my uterus which was from either the myomectomy or the 2 D&Cs. After I got the all clear we moved on the IVF.
IVF resulted in 3 frozen embryos. 2 good and 1 fair. For specifics see my TTC History. My lining was too thin and my progesterone levels were to high to continue with a fresh transfer so we did a FET on September 26, 2014. On Saturday, October 4 (8dp3dt) I did a HPT and it was negative. I tested the next 2 days and both tests were negative. My blood test was on October 6th and I was sure the clinic would call and tell me it was negative. They didn't. A negative result is <2.0. Mine was a 3.
Let the beta roller coaster begin.
10/6 - Beta #1 - 3
10/8 - Beta#2 - 15
10/11 - Beta #3 - 27
10/13 - Beta #4 - 45
10/15 - Beta #5 - 81
10/17 - Beta #6 - 196
10/23 (one week later) - Beta #7 2668
Since I my numbers were now over 1500 my doctor wanted me to come in for an ultrasound the day after my last blood test. On October 24th, my BFF the transvaginal ultrasound revealed no gestational sac in either the fallopian tubes or in the uterus. It also revealed that 3 fibroids which I think the doctor mentioned are in areas that would not affect the pregnancy, if there was one. Now what?
Well, the plan is to do another blood test in 3 days and for another ultrasound later that day. We can't do anything until we see something. There's something there that's creating HCG. I am scared that this is an ectopic pregnancy.
I don't know what lesson God is teaching me. I know he has big plans for me. Plans that I have a hard time seeing right now. Right now I feel forgotten. All I can do know is wait and pray that he will remember me on Monday.
