Waiting

First, thank you guys for all your support. I'll post an update later about it. Now on to the waiting.

That's where I am. Waiting for OPK to go positive. Then it will be our third IUI.  More waiting and on CD 21 I will take a blood test to check if I really did ovulate. You would think they would've checked this on my first IUI. I can't wait to move to a real fertility clinic. Then again more waiting to see if this third IUI will result in a BFP. One can only wait.


It seems that's all we do is wait.

I almost forgot to update you guys on what my doctor said. He will be on vacation this week so next week Monday I will call his office to remind him to start the paperwork so I can get referred to a RE. Thank goodness. I'm ready to get this show on the road.

 Hope you guys are done with shopping or close to it.

Infertile Ornament

DH and I have bought an ornament for every year we've been together. We would pick one that would describe the big event of that year. If we went on a trip, we would buy one from that trip.

Ready for the sad story? There was no trip or big event this year. We didn't buy a house, do any renovation, get a new puppy, no promotion, nothing. We couldn't think of anything. Except one. Infertility. This whole freakin' year was about trying to have a baby. And there it is. We are looking for an Infertile ornament. Where can one get an Infertile ornament? Goo.gle. That's where. Check this out. For a second I thought I had my million dollar idea. Boy was I wrong. Some of them are funny and brought a smile to my face so I figure I'd share them you gals.

Since I'm still in the closet, I'm not sure if I would get one and put it on the tree. Especially since it's our year to host Christmas with our friends. I hope next Christmas that we will be picking out a First Baby 2012.

Referral

When my lovely friend AF came on Saturday, I called my doctor's office. I wanted to talk to my doctor about starting the paperwork to get a out of network referral because my doctor's office doesn't do IVF. I was told that this takes 5 weeks. I really don't want to wait 5 weeks.  The probability that the fibroids will grow back is high and I don't want to go through another myomectomy again. When I made that call I was referred to an "advice nurse" who told me that I would have to go through 3 failed IUIs before they refer me out. I explained that I wanted to just start the paperwork while I'm going through my 3rd IUI. My *shiny new uterus will not be shiny for long. She responded by saying that I should talk to my doctor. Thank you. That's why I called in the first place. Well I got a telephone appointment to talk to my doctor today and still no call. I know this is not life threatening and I'm sure he's probably seeing other patients who have more pressing issues which is fine but this waiting is killing me.

I will do the third IUI and will be really happy if it worked but if it doesn't I don't want to be waiting for paperwork. I'd like to take the next step.  I hate to be in limbo. If trying naturally worked I wouldn't be in this situation. 

*after the myomectomy, I was told that I should get pregnant right away because my uterus was free of fibroids.

Better Luck Next Time

Hey guys, sorry for being MIA. Christmas just went into overdrive and we finally finished our Christmas shopping.

I'll just cut to the chase and tell you that AF reared her ugly head this past Saturday. I expected it. It bothered me earlier that week when my CM was getting darker which is an indication that AF is on its way.  Anyway, final and last IUI will be later this month and honestly I'm ready to move on to IVF.

Decline

I was invited to a surprise baby shower this weekend. It's a co-ed one so my husband is invited as well. I would love to go but I don't think I can do it this time. This weekend is when I'll find out if this IUI was successful or not. If it's not, I will not be in the mood to be celebrating. So I will have to decline. I'm sad and upset at infertility and what it's done to me.  I love baby showers and I especially enjoy playing the games. Yes, I am one of those people. I'm very competitive. I've lost a little of that part of myself. 

Oh and here's the best part. I asked one of my girlfriends if she was going. She's not because she has to work and she's five days late. So she might be pregnant but she's not going to test. She's just going to wait and see.

Wait and see?! What the hell does that mean? I'm done. End text. Delete conversation.

Update: I'm 5 DPIUI. No pregnancy symptoms at all. Just the normal pre-menstrual ones. 

Here We Go

Today is IUI #2.

I tested twice a day as you guys advised me to and got a positive yesterday morning and afternoon. Today it was negative and my temperature is still low so here we go!

In Love...

with these girls who just gave me the Tell Me About Yourself Award! Thank you Lisa, Cristy, Izzy and Katie. You guys are the best!

 Certain rules apply when receiving this award:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award!
2. List 7 things people may not know about you.
3. Pass the award to 15 other bloggers and notify them as well.


My Seven Things

1. I love watching reality TV, even the trashy ones. I really enjoyed Jon and K.ate plus Ei.ght. Can't wait for The B.achelor to start.
2. I enjoy people watching. Not in a weird way. I'm talking about just sitting on a bench, having a sandwich and watching people go about their business. I wonder what they do for a living. Are they having trouble conceiving. You know the normal questions. What? The second question isn't normal? It's normal for me. It's on my mind everyday.
   
3. One day I will design my own typeface. I love letterpress cards and the wonder of it all makes me excited.
4. I live on the island of O.ahu. 
5. I love barbecues. The food, the company and time slowing down for just a little while. This is the only occasion when I want time to slow down. Otherwise, please hurry and let it be my turn already.
6. I have a recurring dream/nightmare where I'm driving, something goes wrong and I end up in the ocean. On the contrary, I love the water and am not afraid of it.
7. I believe in God and karma.

Sorry ladies, I can only do 5 since my procrastination has screwed me where most my favorite gals have already received this award.

1. Rachel
2. Lola
3. Waiting and Wishing
4. AJ
5. Sometimes

Just a quickie...

update I mean. What did you think?! Sorry, ok so seriously. I just wanted to give you guys a quick update on where I am. It is CD 8 for me. I'm waiting till CD 10 to start testing with my OPKs. When that goes positive, I call the clinic that morning and they schedule the IUI for the next day. This is our second IUI so this whole process gets so confusing because on our first IUI I ovulated the day the OPK was positive. I know this because my temp went up the day of the IUI. Then this last cycle, I O'ed 2 days after the test went positive. WTH!  I need your advice. Do they normally do the IUI the day after your test goes positive? Is it normal to O the day your test goes positive? I could goo.gle this to death but you guys are my trusted source and I value your experiences more.

The Good Ol' Days

I woke up at 2am and couldn't go back to sleep. I was trying to remember the days before we started TTC. The days when my first thought in the morning wasn't when we would have a baby.  Or why we don't already have one. Looking back, I would call them easy days. Easy because I had my life under control. Well at least I felt like I did. I don't feel that way anymore. It's crazy isn't it? I can't even remember it being a gradual change from not ready for baby to wanting baby NOW. It's all I can think of now. Especially at 2am.

Can you remember those days?