Monday, July 16, 2012
One of Those Days
I was having one of those days yesterday.
Thinking about how this whole journey has changed me.
I can no longer sit in a restaurant without hearing every cry of a baby or child.
I am jealous of all my friends and co-worker’s posts on Facebook of their children enjoying a day at the beach.
This feeling of jealousy is killing me. I feel like I’m becoming a bitter person.
When I look at my calendar, I see questions. I cannot think of the future without wondering if hubby and I will have a family.
I can no longer stand watching Disney commercials or any commercials involving babies or children.
The first thing I wonder when meeting someone is whether they have children.
Yesterday was not a good day.
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Oh sweet Chanel, these feelings are all too familiar. I can honestly say that during my bike ride home today I started entertaining the idea that perhaps this journey has made me better. Right now I'm still not sure how, but I am determined to find my silver lining. I hope you can too. Here's to a better day tomorrow, and good bloggie friends to carry you through the tough times. xoxo
ReplyDeleteLady, I'm so sorry you're in the space. It's an awful one and I wish it on no one. I think the only way to get through the dark times is to think about what you've learned so far. The fact that you will never take for granted your children, that your relationship with DH is stronger (even when it doesn't feel like it) and that you're learning more about how strong you really are every day. I'm hoping that today is a better day and that you are feeling better very soon. Lots of love.
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