If there's one thing I've learned about infertility, it's the back and forth of good days and bad days.
In these 3 years, 4 couples in our group of friends have gotten pregnant and had healthy beautiful babies. There's just 3 couples, we are one of them, who are married and childless. We just found out that the 3 is now 2.
Here's the kicker. Their baby is due in late March. Although I know that our pregnancy wasn't viable, it still hurts that at one point in our pregnancy, March 2013 was the month everything would have changed for us.
We could have experienced being pregnant together and our babies being the same age. Blah blah blah. You guys know what I mean right?
As the conversation continued following their great news, the spotlight turned to us. And its the same old questions. "So when are you guys going to have a baby?" "Are you guys trying?" "Now it's your guys turn." I even got the, "Are you tracking your cycles?" She even started telling me about how not every one's cycle is the same so I should start tracking my cycles. Little did she know that I took that class. I'm currently in the grad course level - Infertility with a Pregnancy Loss 601.
Please know that I am not angry at her. This is just a part of me grieving and dealing with their pregnancy news. I am happy for them and am excited to meet their son. On the bright side, his birth will hopefully also be the end of these 6 months and the beginning of us trying again.
Oh and by the way, they would have stolen our thunder anyway if our pregnancy had been viable. And I sure hate to have someone stealing my thunder!
xoxo
Those conversations still suck, though. It's mainly the reason I know share my story with everyone who asks, but I also understand not wanting to out yourself. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThose conversations really DO suck. We are the last of all our friends to still be on the baby making train. People have now stopped asking- it's just uncomfortable for all involved. And I think it's just all that much more painful when you can measure a friends pregnancy by your own. My best friend is just a few weeks behind where I was supposed to be with this last one. Salt in the wound.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so sorry. That is SOOO hard. This news never gets any easier. To me, it was always kinda like another slap in the face, another reminder of what wasn't happening for us and then to have her try to educate you on the fact that cycles are different for everyone. Digs it in a bit deeper! : (
ReplyDeleteI got similar news, there were 3 friends left out of all my married friends including us with out children, they each had a loss and one of them had 3 losses .... now as of Saturday they are both expecting in there 16 th and 15th weeks... and now its just me..... but I have to appreciate your silver lining - they ain't steeling our thunder!
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